Subtle Rebellion

I hate strongly dislike sending a shadchan the mandated photo.

It is not that I have anything to hide; aside for about 20 pounds.

I'm okay with the potential date seeing a picture of me if he wants to. In fact, I prefer it. This is me, take it or leave it. The trouble is that the picture isn't me. It's only a side of me. Me dolled up for a friend's l'chaim or, worse, me dolled up for the purpose of a shidduch picture.

Let's raise a glass to "putting your best foot forward."

Maybe it is my insecurity blaring that he will be disappointed when he sees the contrast from the flattering photo or it is my unease that I'm not being honest. That this is not the me I want to be portrayed. It is not the most me.

"Put your best foot forward"

So I sent a shadchan a collage of four pictures taken over these past months of summer.  Pictures of me in my ordinary, blessed, everyday element. Where I look happy and, yes, am wearing some makeup. She didn't like it. Nor did my mother who selected a picture of me dolled up for a friend's lchaim.

I'm okay with the superficiality that is necessary when it comes to dating. That yes, you have to be attracted to your date and some guys will want to see a picture before a date. Hey, I want to know that the guy is taller than me before the date. No judgments on that. 

I only wish this marketing campaign was not limited to being branded in one particular way.

While I seem to have hit a wall in my attempt to change the standard of how it's done, I did dig a small tunnel. I took the four picture collage that been rejected by the shadchan and posted it on my Facebook page. I rarely post pictures but if a guy really wants to see a picture, that's the first place he'll look. There he'll get a better sense of me in my fabulously blessed, ordinary element.